Sunday, April 20, 2008

I hate myself... I hate my body

I fell off the exercise wagon since the last post.... no surprise my weight climbed back up to 251.5.

I hate it... I friggin hate this shit. I crave carbs I crave bread... I want to devour entire collumns of cookies and jelly beans. I want to be a body at rest. I got so tired of exercising my ass off only to get small incremental results of 1/2 pound... even after logging all my calories etc showing I was "in target" I was making no progress... I gave up.

It was the wrong thing. I have to fight the LAZY urge to say "F* it" I give up.

I hate changing up at the gym... I hate it that I sweat to simple work and it drips in my eyes... I am sick of dieting and not seeing any REAL friggin results. I hate trying to go for walks only to get shin splints part way through.

This bites... I hate my body ... it wants me fat. It wants me unhealthy and lazy.

Just getting it off my chest... I realize I don't much traffic but if you are reading this I sure could use some encouragement.

Must fight urge... Must overcome my body's complacent urges... Must get back on track.